Well the first week of preschool has come and gone. To say that it was stressful is an understatement. Not because John Brooks was scared or didn’t want to go or anything but because my child’s idea of a good time – wrestling/roughhousing of any form – does not mesh well with the traditional playtime rituals of 2 1/2 year olds or preschool teachers for that matter. My child’s “aggression issues” coupled with the fact that he “needs to learn to use his words” made for quite the dramatic Thursday evening in this Colson household.
I have a tendency to worry about what others think of me and the fear that the preschool teacher/headmistress thinks that I am the kind of parent who does not discipline my child had me in quite the anxious tear-inducing tizzy Thursday evening. Ben and I are the first to admit that John Brooks is a handful but we are working really hard to be good role models for him, provide positive reinforcement when he behaves well as well as consequences when he misbehaves. We talk to him constantly about his actions and our expectations for his behavior. We take privileges, toys and books away, take time outs with him when he needs to take the crazy down a couple of notches and we do spank him when the need arises (though this form of punishment fails to bring the desired changes in our tough-as-nails toddler). In short, we are using all the tools that we have in our very limited tool belt to try and turn our heathen child into a respectable one. At the end of the day though by virtue of genetics and God’s grand design we have a wild, stubborn, tough 2 1/2 year old boy on our hands and there are going to be many times when his energy level out paces his ability to reason and he’s going to get into trouble. This is a reality that I struggle with because of my above mentioned tendency to worry about what others think.
As I lay there Thursday night, fretting about how to keep my child from becoming a preschool delinquent and worrying about how in the world his parent’s are going to manage to keep him safe and out of jail for the next 17 years or more a thought dawned on me (which I probably should’ve thought of before but sometimes I’m slow to catch on)….Ben and I ARE NOT going to be able to raise this child on our own merits…..It is only through prayer and supplication, by relying on God to provide us with wisdom, and believing in God’s grace to take care of John Brooks, that we will be the parent’s that he needs us to be! It was like a light bulb in my head….duh Paige! I am so grateful that my God is so loving and patient and allows me to take the time I need to learn these things. I am so grateful to have a God who listens to my prayers and knows my heart and provides me with knowledge and wisdom through His Word as well as by placing people in my life who can guide me.
Knowing my child, last Thursday will NOT BE THE LAST TIME I will be having a chat with a school administrator but knowing that my God loves my child as much if not more than I do and knowing that his plans are made perfect in my weakness provides me with the strength and the peace I need to tackle the challenges of raising my sweet, spirited boy.